


lose my heart

by lynne_monstr



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Alec saying the things he should have said in that opening scene, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Episode: s03e10 Erchomai, Fix-It, M/M, edom
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-07
Updated: 2018-10-07
Packaged: 2019-07-27 20:28:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,073
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16226747
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lynne_monstr/pseuds/lynne_monstr
Summary: Magnus is going to Edom. Alec follows.“I told you I was coming back.”“You did.” Alec shook his head, like that could shake loose the thoughts he needed to say. “You also once told me that you’re not omniscient and you can’t see the future. And then you screamed, and I thought. If something happened, that would be the last thing I ever heard from you.Written for flufftober Day 7: Canon fix-it





	lose my heart

“Look what I have waiting for me.”

The heat of their kiss felt seared onto Alec’s lips as he watched Magnus disappear into the pentagram’s flames.

To anyone else, the broad silhouette would appear dauntless and unafraid. Even Alec had been fooled at first. But it was a lie. By his own admission, Magnus was terrified, yet he stepped into the portal that would take him to Edom and he didn’t look back. The magic swallowed him whole, until not even the burgundy of his coat was visible behind the wall of heat.

He took Alec’s heart with him.

Feeling suddenly empty, he forced himself to watch until the very end. He could do this. He could let Magnus fix this, and they would see each other again. It was time for Alec to do his part now, time to get to work.

From behind the wall of flame, Magnus screamed and something in Alec broke.

There was no decision to even think about—

_(He had only heard Magnus shatter into screaming, broken pieces the one time. In Valentine’s body. When the man he loved had needed him and he’d done nothing)_

—Alec jumped into the flame.

.

Edom was a wasteland tinged red. Barren but alive. Terrible but also achingly beautiful. The sky was a storm of angry crimson with swirls of yellow. A sunset given free reign to devour everything in its path.

Though he’d never say it aloud, it reminded him of Magnus.

As if summoned, Alec heard his name, and he turned.

Magnus was frozen in place, except for how his coat fluttered in the warm breeze. “No,” he whispered, as Alec approached him. “Alec, you can’t be here.”

“A little late for that now.”

Visibly shaking himself out of his stupor, Magnus closed the last of the distance between them to grab at Alec’s hands. “What about your shadowhunters? Your Institute. Your responsibilities.”

Alec had given instructions to Isabelle before heading to Magnus’ loft earlier. It was only good sense; at the time he’d thought Magnus was summoning a greater demon. Their track record at that wasn’t exactly the best.

“You’re my responsibility,” he said instead. They were a long way from that morning on the balcony, but the words held as true as ever.

Magnus gave him a half grin, the same mix of fondness and exasperation as the last time they had this conversation. “I can take care of myself.”

Despite the seriousness of the situation, Alec grinned. He didn’t know if it was a normal relationship thing to repeat past conversations, but he liked it. It made him feel anchored, proof that they always came back together full circle.

“I know. I’ve seen you fight.” He leaned in, pressing their foreheads together until he could feel Magnus’ warmth against his face and his chest. It shouldn’t be possible to love someone this much, he thought. To be so consumed to the point that even shadowhunter strength would fail, and Alec would be swept away on the tide of his devotion.

“Magnus,” he started, “What you said before about it being worth it. I—”

“I know, Alexander, and it’s okay.”

“No, no it’s—” Alec cut himself off, gathering his thoughts. His biggest regret as he watched Magnus walk into that pentagram was that he was leaving with the impression that he was second best in Alec’s life. That he might continue to think so one moment longer twisted Alec’s heart in a painful vice. He didn’t have the words before, everything had happened too fast. But now he had a second chance. “I didn’t—I couldn’t think. What I meant to say is that it’s only worth it if you come back to me, too.”

“I told you I was coming back.”

“You did.” Alec shook his head, like that could shake loose the thoughts he needed to say. “You also once told me that you’re not omniscient and you can’t see the future. And then you screamed, and I thought…If something happened, that would be the last thing I ever heard from you. And I couldn’t—I couldn’t let it stay like that.”

He placed his hands on either side of Magnus’ face, needing to make sure he was understood. Needing Magnus to see how serious he was. “If I lost Jace I’d lose a part of my soul. But without you I’d lose my heart. I wouldn’t survive it.”

Magnus froze, surprise scrawled across his face before it was replaced with familiar warmth. How many times had Alec seen him react like this? One day, he vowed, he’d say it enough times that Magnus would start to believe it.

“You’re my heart, too, Alexander.” He turned his head to place a kiss against one of Alec’s palms, his hands coming up to wrap around Alec’s wrist.

It reminded Alec of their first time together, and a wave of longing overtook him like a physical blow. What he wouldn’t give to go back to those simpler days. He wished he could simply take Magnus home, take him to bed and show him with his lips and his hands and his body exactly how deep Alec’s feelings ran. That those feelings were never going away.

Magnus tugged their hands down, releasing his grip and taking a reluctant step back. “As much as I’d like to stay like this, I did come here for a reason.”

Alec straightened, arms instinctively falling behind his back. “Right. Your father.” They fell into step side-by-side as they made their way towards the imposing structure that could only be Asmodeus’ home. “So, what’s your plan?”

“My plan?”

“Surely, you’re not just going to walk into his house, ask him for a favor, and offer up a blank check in return as payment. Who knows what he might demand of you.”

Magnus slowed, feet shuffling. Alec’s heart sank.

“It is, isn’t it. That’s your grand plan.” Alec closed his eyes. Magnus had come here to throw himself on his sword and Alec had almost let him. It was a last-ditch desperation move, and he hadn’t suspected a thing.

He shuddered to think what would have happened if he hadn’t made that split-second decision to follow. Magnus may have come back to him, but what state would he have been in?

None of that mattered anymore. Alec was here, and he and Magnus would figure it out the way they always did.

Together.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm not sure how much I succeeded at the fluff part of flufftober, but here we are.
> 
> Feel free to come find me on tumblr!  
> lynne-monstr.tumblr.com


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